|im too sensitive to the world|

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Wednesday, December 14

solmet



“I used to not believe in soul mates. I’d fall in and out of love so easily, going through the same vicious cycle. It just seemed impossible that there could be only one person out there for you. Then I met you.

I spent hours tracing your skin, memorizing it all, in case you disappeared on me. Your scent, your smile, your laugh, I could find you in any crowd. Still could. Everything was about you, it still is. Each morning thought was about you, and my last thought each night was you. You never left my mind. I’ve never shined brighter. You weren’t my world, you were my universe.

But after you… you left, it wasn’t like the other times. It didn’t take a day of eating and watching sad movies to forget you. No, every date I’ve been on since, which took months by the way, none have even come close to comparing to you. When they all kiss me goodnight, no spark is there.

Every sad song I hear is now relevant. I can’t pass that bench, or sit on my own couch for god’s sake without thinking of you. I haven’t slept in over twenty-four months plus because I wake up in fits of anxiety when you aren’t there to comfort me, to promise you’ll never leave me. My world is grey and bleak. There’s no more light, only fog. And everytime I think I see the light, I run to it, only to end up back where I started. Without you.

So maybe now I believe in soulmates, because it feels as if my soul has torn in two. And I wonder if wherever you are, you wake up in a fit, reaching our for me too.”

Love, qiela

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